对你冷漠，就是对自己无情。

人与人之间相处，是非常非常微妙的一件事。

别人眼中，我这个人很严肃，不说笑话，实际上我很喜欢开玩笑，只是我开的玩笑，很少人能够捉到重点，通常只有臭味相投的朋友，才能在我玩弄的字眼中找到笑点。那天，我忽然明白什么是默契，原因无他，不就是大家知道大家在想什么，那感觉真好。

我不知道自己敏感的触觉，是来自长期写作的训练，还是过度依赖感觉，抑或天生就有，我相信前者的可能性很大。朋友昨天问我，从事艺术工作者，如何知道自己进步还是退步了，我想了想，说出了我的看法。长期浸淫在艺术领域的人，揣摩最多的不是时事而是人性，艺术工作者会将人的情感划分得越来越细，甚至最后，会进入灵魂的那一块。对于写作或者摄影，我自我判断的方法，是看自己在陈述情感时，会不会比上一次细腻，有没有比上一次深刻。这种细致的情感解剖是欢悦的也同时是痛苦的，因为我们对欢悦和痛苦的感受，远比他人强大。

爱情亦然。

放弃爱情亦然。

必须对自己绝对的残酷无情，才能割舍我对你的爱。

薇达在面书上了一首歌，很适合我现在的心境，是Black Box Recorder的England made me。

I trapped a spider underneath the glass
I kept it for a week to see how long he last
He stared right back of me
He thought that he could win
We played the waiting game
He thought that I give in

England made me
England made me

I had a dream last night, that I was drunk
I killed the stranger, and left him in a trunk
In Brighton railway station
It was an unsolved case
A famous murder mystery
People love mystery

England made me
England made me
England made me
England made me

I need my privacy, I lead a secret life
Sleep with the enemy, and betray both sides
I travelled all my life, but never got away
From the killing jar, and it got me sick

England made me
England made me
England made me
England made me
England made me
England made me
England made me

对你冷漠，就是对自己无情。